i added watermelon vodka to this nasty “sync” vitamin water, and it actually tastes good.  hydrating while i dehydrate, and all that.  i think vitamin water is a total bunch of bullshit, but i drink it because it’s better than drinking pop and i won’t drink water unless i’m hiking (which i won’t do).

speaking of being able to hike; my ankle has been royally messed up for a year and a half now and until i gett good health insurance, i will limp and be in pain.  this kinda sucks.  i keep saying i should just go to one of the “community health clinics” but i’m positive i need an MRI and surgery, which you can’t get for cheap.  fucking fuck fuck.  insurance at work is basically there in case your arm falls off, so you won’t have to pay *as* much.  it’s not there for actual health.  *annoying*

also, i have stopped smoking for two weeks and one day as of today.  i’m surprised how i don’t really miss it at all.  to replace this bad habit, i now read books.  hence, i have read the first three twilight books, almost all of harry potter and the half blood prince, and 1/3 of ender’s game so far.  i just bought the final twilight book today, so that will prolly be done by the weekend.  the twilight books would be better without the main character.  i find her boring and way too dependent on a man who controls her and treats her like crap.  i like the secondary characters much, much more.  ender’s game is an odd book so far, and i find that the author had an obsession with asses, or so it seems.  i mean, i suppose there’s some purpose to the language, showing that the kids they’re training up to be killers are immature and young, but i just cringe when i read the kids calling each other “fart-eater” or whatever.  and of course, the harry potter books are my favorites, and i love them  waaay better than twilight for sure.  my harry potter tattoo is still on my mind, but i honestly don’t have to ovaries to get them.  i just should.

tomorrow, the buyer for my store will be there.  we had a totally pointless meeting with him this sunday, where he helped us with selling and customer service (being the salesperson by a bazillion at my store means i probably already do everything he said, and i do).  but i will grill him on why we never have certain things in that sell amazingly well, why we sell toys ANY toys with phthalates in them since we acknowledge they may be harmful to our customers, and why we have ugly fucking clothes at the moment that don’t fucking sell.  of course, i prolly won’t have the opportunity to do so, but that’s the plan.

i have learned how to negotiate the politics at work as to get what i want and also to help with some of the idiocy that runs rampant in my manager.  today he got snippy with me, and later apologized, but it’s like this thing where i am a really hard worker, and i know what the fuck i’m doing, so i’m in this position where i set and example, but don’t get paid more, but am expected to work harder…which is ok.  but there’s really only one of my assistant managers who i like a whole lot because he’s on top of shit.  i am hoping that this other job i heard of comes to fruition soon, so i can apply for it.  it would pretty much be perfect.

my “ex” turned 21 two days ago.  i am almost 27.  i realize that he’s fucking immature and young, but super hot…lol.  anyway, i can’t really write anything here about that except that i’m a total idiota.

Do i take a five week online course???? i mean, if i could get an A and actually do it, it would be totally worth it.  i think i’ll just fucking do it.  if you need more explanation on that, well, too fucking bad.

also, one of my favorite bloggers totally tweeted the tagline on my blog the other day, which made me feel special and then ridiculous.  too bad i rarely have much of substance to say.  actually, if i was meaner, i would rip into other blog’s posts, but that seems to just start flame wars, but maybe i’ll just take two blogs i am not a fan of (pandagon and feministing) and rip into that shit.  i would be super late to the blast fucked up white feminist bloggers club, but i’m sure it gets not worth it after a while, and one would need to blood to help rip apart the privileged idiocy.

i purchased a replacement for my “please stick it in.  it’s the law [picture of seatbelt]” bumper sticker magnet today ebcause it was fading.  so sad.  lol.

this has been a pointless post, but at least you’re updated on my life and alcoholism.  tee fucking hee

so, i neglect this blog like it’s going out of style because well, i got really drunk like three or four nights in a row this last week, was trying to be romantical with this dude named jim until this last week, but then told him he was a douche through text message (well, to be fair, i said i didn’t like him blowing me off, then when i was drunk, i texted his best friend and told him i thought jim was a douche).  I have now apparently been myspace de-friended, which let me tell you, is sooooo fucking depressing.  one) be a fucking man and like just let shit sit and blow over for a bit and 2) that was fucking fast.  you must have been concerned that i was going to rarely update my blog and never post bulletins for you to read. i’m so much better at being a catty writer when i have fodder.  

truth be told, i am also unsure of what to write here, seeing as i think a space i am going to take up on the internet should be constructive in some way, rather than just a projection of my ego, assuming you want to read about me, but then i realized the reason i follow many many blogs is to keep up with what is going on with people, which is valuable.  i also cannot be motivated to only write activisty/political/relevant things because when i’m not working, i’m volunteering and the last thing i want to do is come home and write to you all about politics and shit.  however, i realized there are things i ponder on, and for some reason, i will likely share them with you.  i guess that means if anyone has suggestions, i shall take them.

also, i am trying to write up answers to interview questions for a former co-workers blog/news thing about [my job].  one question is about how [my job] caters to the GLBT community.  firstly, i want to yell “WHY DO ALL THE LETTERS HAVE TO BE SHOVED TOGETHER LIKE THAT, OBVIOUSLY WE OFFER DIFFERENT THINGS FOR EACH OF THE FOUR LETTER ACRONYM-ED GROUPS YOU HAVE DECIDED TO CLUMP TOGETHER LIKE THEY’RE THE SAME THING, AND, IN FACT, I WANT TO DECONSTRUCT YOUR QUESTION INSTEAD OF ANSWER IT” ugh, i hate myself sometimes.  as someone should say to me “get out of your fucking head”, but that never works.  i mean, it does if there is vodka involved.

so, this post was going to be about why i no longer identify as a feminist, but as you can see, i rambled on and now it’s 4:18 am and i have to work tomorrow.

so, goodnight, and stay tuned for some shit, y’all.  haha.