And finally, your long awaited (3 days) review of Who’s Nailin Paylin? has arrived.

As the title of the movie indicates, the question that is to be answered throughout the viewing of this pornographic production by Hustler is “who is nailing (a parody) Sarah Palin?”.  And indeed, I suppose you find out the answer to this question because by the end Sarah Palin has banged quite a few people and even her husband gets in on the action (but not with her).

Either way, I was pretty disappointed with the movie overall.  Hustler could have done a good job with the political commentary, and there were some really spot on critiques of things Sarah Palin says and believes, but the bad sex scenes and gay jokes made it non-enjoyable.

However, the first scene was classic as it involved your classic-porno-premise; car breaking down and someone needing to call a tow truck, except substitute the car with a Russian tank and calling a tow truck with calling the Kremlin.  That was totally awesome and hilarious, although the three-some that ensued with Palin and two Russians was fairly boring.

There then involved a supposed political aide teaching Palin some new vocabulary words, which included absolutely, to which Sarah Palin would say ‘you, betcha’ which I guess was some commentary on her speaking patterns, but since they didn’t have to porn actress try the accent, it was kinda stupid.  But then I realized in order to understand this porn, you would have to have a basic knowledge of Sarah Palin’s craziness, which I’m not sure if most consumers of porn would have…or most consumers of porn who would want to rent a Sarah Palin porn.  Although, maybe this was created more for consumers like me who want some parody porn (which reminds me that you all should rent Space Nuts if you ever get the chance).

Anyway, after our vocabulary lesson, we have Todd Palin cheating on Sarah with the political vocabulary chick and then we have Sarah Palin cheating on Todd with his snowmobile company co-worker, which I guess was clever, but I was happy that they portrayed the cheating as happening on both Palin’s parts, rather than just Todd Palin’s.  Score one point for gender equity, I guess.

Then we went back in the day to Sarah Palin at I-da-ho University, where her biology teacher was teaching them that dinosaurs don’t exist and the world is only 6,000 years old, which was actually hilarious, especially considering the teacher was played by Evan Stone who is actually a pretty good comedic porn actor.  So, then the young Palin and teacher do it, and this sex scene was actually decently hot, so that was a plus.

Then Sarah had to give her press conference about alleged cheating, which imitated that one response she had to Katie Couric’s question that Tina Fey totally nailed, which, again, was clever.  You find out at the end of this press conference that Hillary Clinton was under the podium the whole time performing oral sex on her, at which point they go back behind the press conference curtain and proceed to get it on and the Condoleezza Rice comes in and gets in on the actions.  It’s important to note that Hustler just decided to find a Black woman for the Condi part despite trying to find actresses who actually looked like the other white female and male characters based on real people, which is just stupid and is an immense display of racism, because apparently you have to find white folks who look similarly to the white folks they’re based on in terms of facial features, hair, and clothing, but then can just find someone who’s Black to fill Condi’s part because all Black people look the same.

At some point there were a few jokes against gay men, which isn’t surprising because Hustler did it and they’re known for trying to push that all forms of speech should be accepted and mainstream in pornography, especially homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist and ableist shit, so meh.

Also, there were some interludes with a mock Bill O’reilly, but they obviously weren’t that remarkable because I don’t really remember them.

Although, I do feel this movie won’t appeal to the folks who might want to rent it, conservative men who have a boner for Sarah Palin because it basically made her look like a total dipshit (which she was).

So, there you have it, kids!  Comment away (all one of you)

yes, that’s correct, i rented Hustler’s “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin” tonight because I want to see if the porn actress is a convincing Sarah Palin (doubt it) and how horrible it is.  The thing is, Larry Flynt (owner of Hustler) is an outspoken critic of the Bush Administration and their war on porn (and even sex ed for that matter), so maybe I’ll be surprised by the level of political commentary, but considering this is a porn, which means its purpose it to titilate, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be disappointed.

I am going to give a review of it up here, though, so you can all know how awesome or not it was.  Ooh!  I just looked on the Internet Adult Film Database and notice that Nina Hartley is also in it, which is cool.  Also, Jada Fire (one of my more favorite porn stars) is supposed to be Condoleezza Rice, which is odd because she’s super hot and looks nothing like Condi.  AH well.

I want to know the answer; who is nailin paylin?